20 Something

Ummmmm....Thanks?

2012-01-16T20:58:00.001-05:00

I'm not sure Beyonce will write this scientist a thank you card....

always sick, never at home

2012-01-16T20:51:00.001-05:00

Am I the only person who gets sick day guilt?

Whenever I'm catching a cold (I.e. today) I feel like I have to be bleeding out of my eyes to call out of work.

I think it's partially because I hear the way people talk about other coworkers when they call out sick. I'm also slightly traumatized by the one time I called out the night after the Eagles lost a game (I really was sick and I barely watched the game because I was so sick) but my manager called me out when I returned to work and said "oh we know WHY you were sick!"

Anyways, I'm sick again but I'll probably be hacking up a lung at work again....

There is Hope for the Future

2011-12-26T21:02:00.002-05:00

After you watch this little girl rant you might want to stand up and give her a round of applause.
Check out the video of Riley breaking down her frustrations with toy companies...

Holiday Film

2011-12-25T20:38:00.000-05:00

Let me begin by saying my holiday party was a success.
I learned that when you combine good food, great friends and lots of alcohol...you will have a good time.
So if any of you are scared about the party planning process, don't be...it was easy and I'm excited to have another.
Moving on to another holiday themed post...
This is the time of year when families hit the theaters.
Well, last week I went to see The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. Whoa.
This movie is not kid friendly, it is very dark, very deep and I give it two thumbs way up and a high five.
I think even explaining what it's about will give too much away, so I'll post the trailer and leave it at that.

Being Social

2011-12-06T21:16:00.001-05:00

The holidays are here, so in an attempt to be cheerful/social I'm having a HOLIDAY EXTRAVAGANZA.

Okay, now the truth...

my boyfriend and I were drinking tequilla on Saturday night

Him: We should have people over
Me: We should have a holiday party !!
Him: it has to be soon, people are making plans fast
Me: Lets do it SATURDAY!!

So here I am having a holiday party in FOUR days. The guest list might hit 10, if i'm lucky but I'm totally stumped on what to serve !
I was thinking of making this
Peppermint Stick Martini

1 peppermint stick, crushed
1 1/2 ounces vodka
1 ounce peppermint schnapps
1 ounce Triple Sec
Ice
1 small candy cane

The thing about parties, you have to be careful what you serve. I feel like serving wine will make people sleepy so you got to hit them with the hard stuff ! I'm thinking of also having beer...just because it's easy and when everyone leaves, I'll have it left over to drink.

I don't know what food to have ! what's a holiday dish!

Please share any advice !

Also, if you have not RSVP'd to my invite...do it!

I Laughed Until I Cried

2011-12-02T23:38:00.000-05:00

Okay, I know what you're thinking. "Friends with Benefits" is just another cheesy romantic comedy starring two young attractive people that is not funny. Well you are wrrrrrong my friend.
Just rented this movie tonight and I laughed and then I cried (but that's mostly because I'm a sucker for a good emo ending)
This movie is funny because it's real and it makes fun of the little awkward moments in life.
Check out the below clip and rent it when you have a chance.
The trailer doesn't really do the movie justice because most of the funny moments are too dirty/vulgar/nude for a movie trailer

Things I Love: December 2011

2011-11-29T22:45:00.003-05:00

We are now just days away from December...can't remember how many days but I think like 2. So I thought I'd share some things I'm loving going into the month.

Drake- Take Care
I know what you are going to say "All his songs sound the same..." But really give Take Care a good listen, I'd have to say Headlines is one of my favorites but there's also "Look What You've Done" and "The Motto" just to name a few. (shout out to dionne)

Thick hair is a handful and this dry shampoo has made it so much easier to keep those oily hair days away without having to wash it. This stuff actually completely disappears from your hair once you brush it and it makes your hair look fresh/clean and oil free. It's only $10, a little messy but I think it's great ! It just came out on Black Friday so it's flying off shelves...

I change face washes only once I run out of something. So since I ran out of my last bottle of a Lush cleanser, I decided to give Philosophy Purity a try. I really like it, it doesn't dry my face out and that's crucial in the winter !!

Disorganized Girls Rejoice ! Google Calendar has saved my life. You can sync it with your calendar on your iphone, and it reminds you of things via email or pop up alerts on your phone.
It has made all the chaos of fall/holiday parties much easier to manage.

Introducing my favorite New App ! Hotel Tonight was created for a jet setter like myself. Last weekend I stayed in a boutique hotel in Washington, D.C. for $78 !!
Here's how it works, you need a hotel at night so you log into the app...it finds you the LOWEST rate in the city you pick. It's great if you find yourself too far from home, out later than expected or just in need of a night away from home. This app will save you lots of $$$.

Okay those are my picks, I'm going to try to do this each month!

The Meaning of the Holidays

2011-11-29T22:34:00.000-05:00

People have lost their minds.
Why is it that BILLIONS of dollars were spent over the Thanksgiving Holiday weekend and we are still in the middle of an economic crisis.
Maybe early 20-something me would've been out there with the rest of them spending money I don't have but mid-20-something me just thinks it's absurd to spend hundreds of dollars on presents.

The number of Americans who said they plan to spend more than their allotted holiday budget rose from 10% last year to 14% this year.

Read more: http://moneyland.time.com/2011/11/29/black-friday-52-billion-for-stores-big-credit-card-bills-for-us/#ixzz1f9jtTaCU

Unless you are a child under the age of 10 that I like/love, don't expect a gift from me.
The holidays are about surrounding yourself with family, spreading the love, eating lots of food and trying not to gain 15 pounds (more on the gaining 15 pounds thing later)
It's nice to open presents on Christmas day, but I think its just as nice to sit around with my family and argue until they make me cry (they gang up on me).
Happy Holidays !

Workplace Friendly?

2011-11-29T22:27:00.000-05:00

I'm really into nail polish for winter...well not really into it, but when I feel like painting my nails I feel like you should go hard or go home.
WIth that said, I'm very much over paying for manicures/pedicures until it's warm enough to wear sandals.
So...I picked up some new polishes at Sephora and I debuted this one at work today.

It's called My personal serpent and today at work I felt uber bad ass all day. Like I wanted to start singing rihanna, put a hoodie over my head, rap lyrics in the corner...you get my point.
But there were moments that I felt like it was just too dark for the office. So now I'm conflicted about wearing it for the rest of the week.
Decisions, decisions...

I'm Back!

2011-04-02T00:36:00.002-04:00

Me and my new macbook are back! And we are ready to blog. But I'm still contemplating my next move. Thinking about relocating to wordpress...I'll sleep on it and get back to you guys asap!

I want a Macbook

2010-11-30T21:22:00.000-05:00

The blog is in hiatus.
Why?
Because my circa 2005 iBook is near death.
So...in protest, I'm done using it. And plan to reward myself with a MacBook in the new year.
Until then my friends, I will be just a blog reader and not a writer.
See you soon 20somethings.

My First Date

2010-09-20T18:14:00.000-04:00

This isn't the kind of date you're thinking of...this was my first date with the girls over at girlfriendcircles.
If you missed my earlier blog, I joined this site to make new friends in my new city.
So the way it works, when you sign up, you have to attend a general meet up to show that you are credible, before they let you have access to the other events planned by members. This first meet up can have a maximum of 6 people. The one I was planning attend had 4 girls RSVP including myself. One girl did not have a photo posted so I was convinced she might be an ax murderer.
The wine bar where there event was taking place was around the corner from my job so of course at 7pm, I was the first person to show up. I asked the waitress for a table for 4. She showed me to a great table and put down 4 menus, I instantly realized if no one showed I was going to look like the biggest loser in the history of losers.
So what's a girl to do? I called one of my real life friends to talk about my anxiety.
And as I was on the phone, in walks a girl looking just as lost as me. I hang up and find out her name is Yolanda and she was there for girlfriendcircle too.
We start talking and she says she went to the last meet up and no one else showed. She said she just ordered dinner and enjoyed an evening by herself, which is really the worst that could happen if no one shows!
2 hours later, Yolanda and I are still talking, still drinking wine and we were the only girls to show up. While it would've been great to meet the other 2 girls I can say I had a great time meeting someone new and having someone to talk to.
Yolanda also recently moved to the area to live with her fiance and she doesn't know many people in the city.She found out about girlfriendcircles in Essence magazine, she was actually the one with no picture posted on her profile and it turns out she is not an ax murder but instead works in human resources.
She invited me to her birthday party next month so I think we are off to a great start.
I came home from our date feeling excited about friendships and new people.
I signed up for another meet up in a few weeks and I also joined some groups on the meetup.com website.
I was skeptical about this adventure but so far I'm happy with my choice to join girlfriendcircles.
I encourage all of you to put yourself out there if you want to make some new friends.

From the inside out

2010-09-09T23:05:00.000-04:00

When I turned 25 I looked in the mirror and saw the same skin problems I've had since I was 15. It was at that point I decided I'd had enough. For some people you would insert a proactive commercial here but I did that at 15 and wasn't interested in spending 19 bucks a month on my skin care. I decided that like everything related to our bodies, the answer was inside! I hit Whole Foods and stocked up on vitamins and this stuff called "the essential woman." it's full of good stuff that balance your hormones. Well...2 weeks later my skin has done a 180. I just wanted to share with you guys because breakouts after 16 can be so frustrating. Let's see if my new solution lasts!

a sad day at the office

2010-09-09T22:55:00.000-04:00

I have this coworker and I'm going to go out on a limb and say she is morbidly obese. She is shorter than 5'7 and over or close to 300 pounds. Yesterday, she sat in her chair and it broke, the noise was so loud and I felt terrible. I feel like she needs help and I have no clue what to do! She comes in everyday with fast food, jumbo drinks....I feel like if she were addicted to drugs, someone would intervene but because it's food that's her addiction, no one can say Anything.
She's not my friend, just a colleague but I look at her and I worry...

Manscaping

2010-09-08T22:02:00.000-04:00

As women, when we see hair, the natural reaction is to do something to remove it.
When I check out my eyebrows, I want to grab all those tiny stray hairs.
We all know someone with a unibrow, or someone who loves to get bikini waxes, I even have a friend who gets her legs and underarms waxed.
But when it comes to men, where do we begin?
When I look at my boyfriends eyebrows, my natural reaction is "pluck, pluck, pluck" but that would make him look like a tranny...so I've had to reprogram my brain to accept the fact that hair on a man is natural.
Now as we head south, I recently read some gossip about Diddy and Jayz being fans of the male Brazilian. While women often obsess about "down there" it seems to be an after thought for many guys. They just keep things trim and that's that. BUT what if they got waxed too! I mean, is that really so girly? Am I crazy for even exploring the idea of a guy being waxed?
Now heading further south to the legs. I mean really, how hairy do a mans legs need to be. Do they just let it grow until their 80 and can turn it into a long braid?
Can we trim this situation. I see guys sometimes that are wearing shorts, but it looks like they are wearing pants! I mean I just think guys should take the time to trim the leg hair down a little bit just to keep it from getting out of control.
If you didn't know before this blog, you now know that I'm a little OCD...but these are some of my questions when looking at the hairy men of the world.

Paying For Friends

2010-09-08T21:36:00.000-04:00

My closest REAL friend is 45 mins away. It's another 3-4 hour drive to other REAL friends.
I've lived in my new city about 9 months and I still have no one that I consider a great friend. I have some fun people to hang out with, chat with, gossip with...but no one like the friends I grew up with or went to college with.
So, I was watching the news and there was this story about a website called Girlfriend Circles .
The site promotes connecting women with other women for friendship.
So for the sake of research, I signed up. I have a meeting with three women at a wine bar next week. Now a six month membership to the site is $29.95. And I have no idea if these women will be sane...but I think there's no harm. I figure what you put out is what you get back. If I put out a genuine effort to make friends, that is what I will get...right? Or do you guys think I'm crazy for paying to get friends.

Lessons From Betty White

2010-09-08T21:01:00.000-04:00

Do you wake up and do what you love everyday?
I just saw some preview for a movie and Betty White had a part in the film. She is also on a sitcom and in commercials and on red carpets...the woman is 88 years old I believe. In order to be working at that age, she MUST love what she does.
Could you be 88 years old and working? I think of myself at 88 and think of doing everything but what I'm doing right now. I mean I like my job, but that doesn't mean I want to be at my desk doing it at 88.
I'm going to work on changing that...I want to be like Betty White in 63 years.
Here she is in action.

"Are You Sure You Want To Delete This Friend?"

2010-08-03T08:30:00.000-04:00

Yesterday morning, I opened my laptop and started deleting facebook friends.
I never really log on the site anymore, and I was getting annoyed that every time I logged on I saw updates from people I really do not care about. So who got deleted? People from high school that I will probably never see again, the random people I met in college that I will never see again, the not so random people I met in college that I might see again but were really never my friends, those two guys from vegas,that old coworker I only added to be polite...you get the idea.
I ended up deleting over 500 people. I had almost 900 friends. So now I'm down to 320-something and I love it. I love facebook again!
I logged into facebook and my timeline is filled with posts from people I know and like! I know some people think about deleting their accounts all together but I recommend trying this cleanse first...
You have to be cruel when you do it but the end result is worth it.

Dating Divorce

2010-07-25T21:36:00.000-04:00

When my parents split up, one of them stayed in the suburbs, the other moved into the city. I didn't realize it at the time, but that type of distance is necessary when a relationship ends. You need to do your grocery shopping, movie-going and general "living" without fear of running into your ex.
But what happens when you are casually dating a guy, and then you stop. That's the predicament I'm in now.
In February, I went on ONE date with this guy. I never heard from him except for maybe one late night text...but I have seen him FOUR times (yes, I counted).
3 of the times I have seen him have been at the bar on my street. I think the bar should be my space because it is my street and he knows it!
The most recent time I saw him was at the movies. Once again, this fool (yes, now he is a fool) was out in my neighborhood on a date. I wanted to scream "YOU DON'T LIVE AROUND HERE!!!!!!!!" But I resisted.
Shouldn't there be some dating rules when it ends.
1) stay out of her neighborhood
2) Don't approach her at a bar when her boyfriend steps away to say "What's Up?"
3) Don't see me and then pretend that you didn't

That's all I got for now, do you guys think I'm overreacting?

Adventures In Going Green

2010-07-24T02:22:00.000-04:00

I saw Avatar months ago and decided I wanted to save the blue people so I started recycling at home. Not to sound like a dork but recycling is so fun. You think it's going to be all water bottles and cans. THEN you finish your cereal and realize "Hey, I can recycle this box." Okay I sound like a super nerd but with that said, start recycling :)
My go green mission also took me where few women will dare to go. Natural deodorant. Since I was 13 I've heard about the chemicals in deodorant and how there are some concerns about cancer blah blah blah. Well I finally decided to give Lush deodorant a try. Don't ask me why...the store was there in the mall so I walked in.
The deodorant comes in a block and the one I got T'eo...smells like amazingness. There's no wasteful packaging just a block of freshness you can keep in a tin or a bag. So the block costs $8 but I'm pretty sure it's going to last me until its cold outside. But here's the thing...with traditional deodorant, I can take a shower at night, hit the gym in the morning and not offend people as I leave the gym.
This natural stuff, you stink. But it's refreshing. Forgive me if that sounds gross. But if I don't shower and I sweat, it feels natural to smell.
Also, my skin feels healthy! Like it is breathing. Even on the Lush website they say "Sweat Happens, it's our bodies way of eliminating toxins." So if your deodorant stops your sweat...where do the toxins go?
This is starting to sound like a commercial and I sound like a hippie so I will shut up. But with the state of our planet, I suggest you all look for ways to go green a little bit.

Sick Day

2010-07-24T02:03:00.000-04:00

I spent one day home sick on Wednesday. Have no fear, I'm okay, the blog WILL go on. I just had/have an upper respiratory infection. Nothing an antibiotic can't fix.
So...while on this sick day, I really could've taken a 2nd day off but I was actually READY to go back to my insane & stressful job! Not because of the millions of dollars they pay me but because I was bored out of my mind. Being sick, I couldn't go anywhere.
I didn't have the energy to do any serious activity either so I sat in the house and watched VH1 reality shows. The day at home made me realize how necessary it is to have a purpose in life. A big part of my purpose is to go to work and do whatever it is I do every day. It gives me fulfillment to a certain extent.
But to bring up my new favorite movie again, in Julie and Julia, both women explore their own purposes and find passion! (If I've lost you, watch the movie/read the book)
I'm ready to find my PASSION! Or a schedule or another purpose other than my job. I'm not about to murder a lobster so cooking my way through Julia Childs recipes isn't going to happen. I thought about exercising but I don't want to become one of those obsessive work out people.
Now as I write this, I'm thinking about maybe making writing my purpose. Clearly it's what I love...but what's a fun way to incorporate it into my life's purpose. It's already my career.
On another note, why don't people write letters anymore? I think I'll start.

Movie Rant

2010-07-24T01:49:00.000-04:00

I LOVE movies. If you are a friend of mine I have probably at some point insisted that you watch SOME movie.
There is an 80% chance that movie is a romantic comedy.
On a side note, a study came out this week that romantic movies create unrealistic expectations in women. (something to bring up with my therapist who I haven't found just yet)
So back to movies...EVERYONE and their mom has been talking about Inception. (DOn't worry I won't spoil it for you I'm just trying to make a point.) So last night, I went to see Inception before someones stupid tweet ruined the whole thing for me. As I sat down I got excited about seeing Leonardo Dicaprio again, I had a major crush on him circa Titanic but now I realize it was just my 13-year-old hormones, he looks very bleh now. When the credits rolled I was not impressed. The special effects were cool but nothing about the movie truly moved me.
Fast forward to tonight. I was on the verge of a boring night alphabetizing my bills when I decided to watch a movie. My choice...Julie & Julia.
LOVE THIS MOVIE.
Mind you, it came out ages ago. I didn't think I would like it too much so I put off watching it for a bit. I did the same thing with the Matrix & X-Men (both movies I surprisingly enjoyed). My point is...well I don't have a point except that I really liked Julie & Julia so much that I'm up at 1:52am comparing it to Inception.
The difference between the two? J&J moved me! I was inspired, moved, excited to talk with friends about the message and excited to blog to all of you...did I mention moved? But it definitely confirmed my stance on eating meat. Not Ever Going To Happen.

Letting The Air Out Of Your Relationship

2010-07-20T22:42:00.000-04:00

There comes a point in every relationship when someone does the unthinkable...they fart. If you are already grossed out by that idea please stop reading now.
Early in my current relationship I began the wonderful (sarcasm) phenomenon of passing gas in my sleep. Gross right?
Yeah well, leave it to my lovely boyfriend to start pointing this out. I would wake up to him cracking up laughing at me.
I really think I was doing it in my sleep because I was so on edge about ever doing it awake.
My ex was one of the guys who thought girls never had any bodily functions. We never went to the bathroom, sweated or burped. So I got used to never doing any of those things or mentioning them.
My question is...should you ever be comfortable doing the unmentionable in front of your significant other? Is it a true sign of comfort or is it just nasty and a sign of laziness?

Hiding Children

2010-07-06T22:14:00.000-04:00

I have a friend who is my go-to going out buddy for double dates. She is always dating an interesting guy that will give my boyfriend someone to talk to while we are out.
Her latest guy vanished without a trace recently. When I asked what his crime was, she explained he hid his children.
My friend was completely disgusted with this guy because during their 3 weeks of dating, he neglected to share he had two children.
When he finally did, he said he did not want to tell her up front because he didn't want her to judge him.
My friend argues that she feels like the guy she has been dating is not the real him.
Her theory is that if you have two kids, they are a big part of your life and who you are. And to date someone and never talk about them is...creepy.
Now I can understand where the guy is coming from, because he is probably used to women losing interest as soon as they find out about his kids.
But I also think it's pretty shady to never mention such a huge part of your life?
When dating, do you think it's fair to withhold certain facts until you feel comfortable sharing them?? Even if they are a big part of who you are?

Half Way To Thirty

2010-07-06T22:08:00.000-04:00

Your 20's are divided into two parts.
The part before you turn 25, and the part when you are about to turn 30.
Last week, I began my journey towards 30. ((((pause for moment of silence)))
But I noticed in my 24th year, that 30 just doesn't seem that old anymore.
I'm a loyal watcher of the Real Housewives series. I watch those women as if they are women I would run into at a bar or take a yoga class with.
During the reunion for the New York women Ramona announced that she was 54. I thought to myself "Ramona's 54? But she's so cool!"
It reminded me that age is so mental. You are as young as you feel.
So to all the 20-somethings reading this and dreading 30, to all the 40-somethings reading this and dreaming of their 20s...don't let your birth certificate define you, embrace the age that suits you.
For me, I'm okay with 25 right now.

When Will I Stop Shaving My Legs?

2010-07-06T22:01:00.000-04:00

I first shaved my legs secretly in the bathroom in the 8th grade. It became a weekly requirement in 9th grade until today. Sure, I have my moments or weeks (especially in winter) when I neglect shaving but if a skirt or shorts are involved, I'm always going to shave.
I went to see a play with my mom a few weeks ago. She wore a cute summer dress and didn't shave. I know my mother so I knew it wasn't something she forgot. She's 50-something and she could care less about hair on her legs.
My question is, at what point do you stop caring about the people staring at the hair on your legs?
Is it different for person to person? Or as you get older, do you start to focus more on what makes you comfortable and less about what people are thinking?
Because in reality, I don't shave because it makes me comfortable, I shave because of the fear of someone noticing the fur.

The Bar Diet

2010-06-07T00:19:00.000-04:00

I went out last night, and as I ordered my calorie loaded Red Bull and Vodka, the girl next to me orders a Vodka soda.
Actually, I have no idea how many calories are in a red Bull & vodka...I don't pay attention to calories at all. I figure the less I know, the better.
So this girl gets her drink and pulls out this tiny packet of powder and starts pouring it in her glass.
My first reaction was "what kind of drug is this girl on..." but i decided to ask her what the mystery substance was.
It was crystal light!
This girl is smuggling low-calorie drink flavoring into the bar to stick to her diet plan.
She claimed the concoction was delicious, which I don't doubt. But I can't imagine having that kind of dedication!
Do you guys have any drinks you order because you think they are more weight friendly?
I know that vodka tonics have more calories than vodka sodas...or is it the other way around?

A Single Girls Wardrobe

2010-06-07T00:15:00.000-04:00

I recently realized that I do not have the night outfits appropriate for a 20 something with a boyfriend.
Since I started dating my boyfriend, when we go out..I've been a tad low key. I usually stick to a cute jean, cute top and flats or heels.
I live on the same block as this pretty popular bar and on Saturday night I see girls in their cute mini dresses. One night I looked at them while walking home and thought, "I want to be sexy."
So the next night when my boyfriend and I got ready to go out, I grabbed one of my go to Vegas dresses. When I came downstairs his reaction was, "Where are we going?"
Then, when we got to the bar, I felt the eyes of other men and started to feel uncomfortable.
I still danced the night away and had a great time, but when I got home I realized that dress needed to be retired (at least until my next Vegas trip).
Do you guys notice a difference in how you dress when you're single and when you're in a relationship.
I still want to look sexy, but I need to find some new dresses that use a few more inches of material.
I have this revelation, then I watch Real Housewives of NYC and these 40 something women wear dresses as short as mine!
Now I'm confused...

Golden Girl

2010-06-03T22:00:00.000-04:00

I'm on episode 3 of the Golden Girls tonight. If you know me, you know I LOVE this show. I own a season on DVD and I set my DVR to record every episode out there.
Today, Rue McClanahan passed away. You probably know her as Blanche Deveraux, the over-sexed, Southern belle of the show.
The thing I love about all the Golden Girls is that they never let their age get in the way of their fun.
We 20-somethings tend to dread the big 3-0. But the Golden Girls teach us that each year of our life (even into our 80s and beyond) can still be full of fun times with girlfriends, good food and sex!
Blanche was never shy about her "desires," I often call her the original Samantha Jones. In real life, Rue had 6 husbands (not all at once) and kept her acting career alive well into her 70s.
If you've never watched an episode, do yourself a favor and watch some of her best moments.
RIP Rue McClanahan, thank you for being a friend.

Kiss, Kiss

2010-06-03T21:43:00.001-04:00

I'm done with the hug and the handshake. I'm all about greeting people with a kiss on each cheek. I haven't started yet. But I've decided that's the new me. It looks so chic when people do it.
But I'm just having some trouble getting started.
What do you 20-somethings use as a greeting? Do you find the kiss, kiss too personal...or too germy perhaps?

Why I Love Sex And The City

2010-06-03T21:41:00.000-04:00

Tonight, a group of my co-workers (you know, the girls and the gays) got together to watch Sex and The City 2.
I went for the cocktail portion of the outing because I already watched the movie Monday and I didn't want to watch it again.
It's not because I hated the movie but when it was over, I had an epiphany.
I realized that I love Sex And The City because I love girlfriends.
I think that's why we all love the series and the movies.
I love knowing all their business, scolding them about poor love choices, eating with them, drinking with them, crying/laughing with them. At the end of SATC2 all I wanted to do was round up my best girlfriends for some quality time.
So, here's my advice. If you haven't spent the $10.50 on SATC2, save your money, buy a bottle of wine, call your girls and talk. Because really...there's no need to watch Carrie, Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte because you already are one of them or know one of them.

I gave up sugar for an hour...

2010-05-19T21:29:00.000-04:00

I gave up sugar for an hour. It might've been more like 50 minutes. I started to think about the Sangria in my fridge, wine, cupcakes, water ice...i'm weak people! i'm weak!!
(((I also deleted the post I wrote about a 7 day sugar fast, ha!)))

Food Issues

2010-05-19T20:27:00.000-04:00

I sat here blogging tonight while eating a tastykake. As I ate the 2nd and final piece, I wanted more...MORE I TELL YOU! But the box is empty...
It got me thinking about my relationship with food, sweets in particular.
We all have our binge moments. I go through phases where the only thing in my freezer is ice cream. Then I have moments where I don't buy sweets for months (usually because I'm being cheap)
I'm a slim girl, no 6 pack or anything but I hit the gym regularly. My question is...is it too OCD to have a food plan?
I've been thinking about doing a sugar fast or something, but I'm scared that's too extreme and people will think I'm weird.
I just want to make myself more disciplined when it comes to food before I'm on Oprah holding up pictures of what I USED TO look like.

Pro-Choice

2010-05-19T20:22:00.000-04:00

Going to dive into a controversial topic here...abortion.
Every woman has an opinion on the procedure. I've always been pro-choice. I just don't understand how you can tell another woman what to do with her own body.
In high school, I remember that talking about people getting pregnant was terrifying...the thought would pop into everyone's head, "well is she going to get an abortion?"
That feeling of terror lasted through high school and college and a bit after.
But now that I'm knocking on 25...it's a little harder for my thought process to jump to the abortion option.
Someone I know just told me she's pregnant. She never mentioned even considering getting an abortion. Her tone told me that it wasn't even an option.
It got me thinking...does the ability to raise a child have to do with your age?
Is it okay to think you're too young to have a kid up until a certain age? Is 25 and over the time when you just have the child and make it work.
One of my mothers friends got pregnant at 30-something, and while she was only in a casual relationship with the father, she kept the child because she was 30-something and that's what grown ups do.
Don't go jumping to conclusions guys, I'm not pregnant, just thinking out loud. Share your thoughts!

Pay No Attention To The Pimple On My Forehead

2010-05-10T22:10:00.000-04:00

Without fail, every time Aunt Flo is coming to town...her cousin Pimple Peter arrives too.
Pimple Peter might arrive on my chin, cheek...but this week his ass is in the middle of my forehead.
I mean, how do you function with something like this. Who can take me seriously?
I say all of this to say...what are your pimple remedies?
Anyone got something new. I know about warm compresses, toothpaste, tea tree oil, blah blah blah...just make it go away!

Why Don't You....Get Married!

2010-05-09T18:57:00.000-04:00

You're young, you're in love...get married. Well, it sounds crazy but I've got a great reason for you to get that man to propose!
My friend over at Fabulously Ever After is giving away FREE wedding planning services to one lucky bride ~~& groom~~ to be.
So check out her site, enter to win...or tell a friend!

Fabulous Thy Name is Mother

2010-05-09T18:25:00.001-04:00

This mother's day, I hope you take the time to honor a woman you know who is going to great lengths to raise a human being. What a crazy and daunting task. And if your initial reaction is to call some 30,40 or 50-something woman...remember, mothers are 20-somethings too!
Happy Mother's Day!

My Blackberry is My Boyfriend

2010-05-08T19:06:00.001-04:00

I've had a blackberry for 4 years now, you could call it my longest relationship.
Things have always gone well with us. At first, we were just emailing & texting, then we moved to BBMing, now we are on twitter, foursquare, surfing the web, checking the weather, gchatting and facebooking.
It's a great relationship that keeps me in touch with...everything.
The problem arose when I started cheating on my blackberry with a real life man.
Now I have to find a balance between my digital man and the real one.
While watching a movie with the real man, I instantly want to tweet about it...bbm about it. But I guess that's rude when you're as excessive about it as me.
I'll admit, I'm a blackberry junkie.
But no one told me I'd have to cut back on my blackberry in order to develop real life relationships!
You guys think I'm making this up and being my usual dramatic self but this is a real life problem.
Exhibit A...
Is Your BlackBerry Ruining Your Sex Life?

Exhibit B...
Living With a BlackBerry Addict

I'm now trying to develop a balance.
No blackberry at dinner, no blackberry in bed. I'm starting there.
Taking it one day at a time...
Now somebody please BBM me...I haven't gotten one in forever!

Carrie Bradshaw, I've Had Enough

2010-05-08T19:06:00.000-04:00

If you're a frequent visitor to this blog, you know about my obsession with SATC (that's how we geeks abbreviate Sex And The City).
There's not an episode of that show that I don't find a way to relate to my own life.
Charlotte taught me how a man should or in her case, shouldn't, talk to you in bed.

Whether cleavage is okay in the workplace

And most recently I learned that karma is a bitch from the first SATC movie. There we learned that Carrie's slutty and trashy ways resulted in her getting stood up on her wedding day.

I thought getting stood up at the alter would teach Carrie a lesson...but NO! While sipping wine and watching Millionaire Matchmaker, I see a trailer for SATC2. Please watch...and see my commentary below.

Okay, Carrie! WTF!
Are you really going to flirt with the idea of Aiden in your life again? You are going to cheat on Mr. Big? I hope that whole Aiden plot twist is some type of dream sequence because Carrie, I've had enough!

She is the most self-absorbed person on the planet. Never satisfied with what she has...and ALWAYS complaining about it.
But she's still Carrie...and I still see myself in her sometimes and that's why it's so hard to watch her make these idiot mistakes.
Sure you could say she is just a movie character but for me, Carrie Bradshaw is so much more!

Grab a girlfriend and go check out SATC2 in theaters this month!

Wake Up Call

2010-04-20T21:59:00.000-04:00

The great thing about having a boyfriend is that often hard to find male perspective.
Whenever I'm dating someone, I find it hard to resist the urge to say "This guy is doing X to my friend, what do you think that means?" And while I know this might make some of my girlfriends cringe, it's often a great opinion I think will help them deal with their situation.
The tables were turned one day when this guy I used to date who was VERY rude to me sent me one of those texts.
You know the texts you get from guys only when they can smell that you are happy and they want to screw up what you have going on.
This text in particular said the rude boy was coming to my area and he wanted to see me. (VOMIT)
Pre-boyfriend me would've replied to this text. I'm not sure what I would've said but I would've entertained it.
Post-boyfriend me was conflicted. I wanted to reply but I knew I needed to wait and think about the perfect way to say "F*ck you" to this guy.
So I got off work and talked to my boyfriend. He knew about this guy and everything the guy had done to me. I told him about the text and I asked, "what's his purpose?"
The boy says "He thinks your EASY or STUPID or BOTH."
I've never gotten a bigger wake up call in my life. To have a man say those words was like getting punched in the gut.
It was at that moment where I picked up my phone and deleted that text message.
He'll get no reply from me and I hope he spends the rest of his life wondering why I ignored him :)

What's Your Name Again?

2010-04-20T21:48:00.000-04:00

My secret is out.
I have been missing from the blog and that can only mean one thing...I met a boy. A great boy. I won't bore you with all the mushy details but he is actually the networking guy that I wrote about here.
Things are going really well with us...we are even "linked" in a relationship on facebook (I had a panic attack before I was able to do this).
But there's one problem...
See, this is my second MAJOR relationship which means my ex's name is still on the tippy tip of my tongue.
Now I haven't called the new boy the wrong name YET but there are times, several times where I have to THINK his name and then say it. I know the moment I stop thinking before I speak, I'm going to call him my ex's name. Tell me I'm not alone in this problem!

A Night To Remember

2010-04-20T21:41:00.000-04:00

Raise your hand if you still have your prom dress...
If you are a 20 something, you are now at least 5 years removed from your first high school prom.
I recently moved across country and at 24, I finally donated my Senior prom dress to the Goodwill.
Why do we hold on to these things? Mine was expensive...and since my mom bought it and I care how much it cost, that says a lot.
I held on to it because I just knew one day I would be invited to some fabulous red carpet event that would require me to break out my senior prom dress.
But the reality is, if I'm invited to something fabulous, I'm buying a new freaking dress.
With that said, there's a great project going on at Spoiled Little LA Girls.
They are trying to create amazing proms for some less fortunate girls.
I encourage you to think about helping them out. All you need is that dusty prom dress!
If you don't help them, take it to the good will or Salvation Army. There are lots of girls out there who deserve to look amazing on prom without breaking the bank! Let go of the memories girls and help them out!

Spoiled Little LA Girls is sponsoring PROJECT PROM. We’re calling all you fashionistas and stylistas to send donations of any items such as dresses (sizes 0-24), accessories, shoes, handbags, hosiery, etc. so that 60 girls within the foster care system can look amazing at prom!
ALL CHECKS OR CASH DONATIONS PLEASE SEND HERE:

Lovette L Panthier, SCSW Resource Coordinator & ACAC Program Manager

20151 Nordhoff Street

Chatsworth, CA 91311

(818) 717-4686

(818) 775-4551 Fax

ALL DRESSES/ACCESSORIES/ETC… PROM ITEMS SEND HERE:

Hope Chapel

Attn: Kim Bigler

Project Prom

7930 Mason Ave. | Winnetka, CA | 91306

Double Booking

2010-03-20T21:28:00.000-04:00

I went where few women have ever gone before. I entered the world of being a player. One night. Two Men. Two Dates. I successfully executed a double booking, or as my SATC fans may call it "a Charlotte."
I had no intention of booking back to back dates...here's what happened.
I met guy #1. We made plans Tuesday to go out Thursday night because I was headed out of town during the weekend. I thought guy #1 was really sweet and nice and cute so I agreed to a weeknight outing.
Then on Wednesday I got an email from guy #2 inviting me to a happy hour event. Guy #2 and I met weeks ago and he told me we should "network." That was a lie but more on that later...
So, because I was intrigued by this networking event with guy #2, I agreed.
I would "network" from 7-8:30 then meet guy #1 by 9.
Well here's the problem with double booking...what if you really like the first date!
That's what happened to me, I didn't want to leave at 8:30...and suddenly it was 9:15 and guy #1 was calling. I told guy #2 I had other plans and darted off to the second show.
But during this date, all I could think about was the first date..and I compared everything this guy did to everything the first date said. I bbm'd my friends that I was emotionally drained by the whole experience.
Because the first "networking" date was so amazing, the second date never really stood a fair chance. We haven't had a second date, while me and Mr. networking have have dates 2, 3, 4 & 5.
To sum it all up, girls I would not recommend double booking. Sure, it's an adrenaline rush knowing two men are chasing you...but we're women, we're not men, we were not cut out for this juggling stuff.
And another thing! Mr. Networking later told me that he knew I was going to another date! So what's the point of double booking if the guy knows what you're up to...

Too Tall

2010-03-03T22:33:00.000-05:00

I'm 5'8...which isn't really freakishly tall, but when paired with a cute pair of my work shoes, I can tower over the average man.
This never bothered me until I started my new job. I'm taller than my boss!
It makes me extremely uncomfy to stand in the hallway and talk to him eye to eye. I always like to talk to him while I'm sitting or while he's sitting. Is this normal?
What is it about power and height? I just feel like the man who is suppose to tell me what to do should be looking down at me....

Facebook Etiquette

2010-02-19T21:01:00.000-05:00

My Great Aunt passed away last night.
She was in her late 80s and her health was failing.
How'd I find out she died?
A call from my Dad? No! Facebook!
People, we have GOT to get it together. My cousin posted the news of my great aunts passing on her facebook...not one week later, like minutes after she died.
There are some things a girl should not log on to facebook and find out.
1) death
2) the results of your pap smear
3) your level of sexual frustration

That's all I got for now...but I think you get the point.

It's What He Does NOT Say

2010-02-19T20:51:00.000-05:00

Happy belated Valentine's Day lovers!
I had a valentine, I think...I don't know.
I guess having a valentine means that person would have to actually acknowledge that it's valentines day.
Okay, here's what happened.
I met up with Mr. Secrets on the Saturday before Vday. Technically, it was after 1am when I got there so it was Vday.
Then I stayed at his house until like 5pm the next day. All those hours...not one mention of Valentine's day. My phone is blowing up with texts from an ex wishing me Happy Valentine's day (I did not reply because how absurd) but the man I'm with on Valentine's day has not mentioned it.
What does this mean? I mean I could've said it...but I think if he can't even form his lips to wish you a Happy Valentine's Day then that means he's not that into you, right? right!
It still was the best Vday I've had in a long time...I just have something else to file in reasons I don't need to be with this guy.

Long Live Commercials!

2010-02-16T21:00:00.001-05:00

In the age of DVR and TiVO it's easy to call commercials an annoyance...but then, a gem like this comes along and I bow down to the Gods of advertising.

Secrets, Secrets, They're No Fun

2010-02-08T23:52:00.001-05:00

I kept a secret from some of my friends. I'm interacting with a guy that I'm not proud to claim. You know the type...cocky asshole but for some reason you answer his calls!
I thought that by hiding my interaction with him from my friends was helping me avoid the "you're too good for him" lecture.
But all my secret did was hold up a mirror. It showed me the kind of girl I was being to tolerate the kind of man I was dealing with. Okay...the kind of man I AM dealing with.
Now I'm not saying I've cut this guy off, but I am saying...once my friends found me out, it made me realize that I've GOT to demand more of the men of my life for many reasons, but one of the most important ones is so that he can be a guy I'm proud to talk to my friends about.
Because what good is a guy if you can't gossip about him with your girls?!

Working Girl

2010-02-08T23:43:00.000-05:00

****SPOILER ALERT: IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN TONIGHT'S EPISODE OF THE BACHELOR STOP READING***

Tonight on the Bachelor (yes I watch...don't judge me) one of the girls found out she had to go back to work.
She had to choose between staying on a show where she thought she'd met the man of her dreams or going back to her job.
The girl is in the final 4, so if you know reality dating shows you know that's pretty much the thick of the competition.
The girl chose to go back to her job. At one point she said, I could stay here and walk away with nothing if Jake doesn't pick me or I could walk away now and still have a job.
DEEP! What would you guys do? Would you risk your career for love?? Not even love...the possibility of love because she really had no idea if Jake would pick her in the end.

Nightmare

2010-02-07T12:39:00.000-05:00

You ever have a dream about a guy you are involved with and it just seems all too real?
My friend had this experience and it made me think of a nightmare I once had.
I was at a party with this guy I was dating and he started dancing with this girl, I then saw him leading her away. When I confronted him about it, he said she was too fly not to have sex with and that it was just sex so I should relax. It was one of those dreams that I had to force myself to wake up from because it was so devastating.
Looking back...that dream revealed my insecurities about that relationship. I told my friend, anytime you dream about a guy you are involved with, it is reflecting what is on your mind about the relationship. Now if you dream a guy cheats, it doesn't mean he is cheating, it just means you don't trust him. Sometimes you can look at your dreams like a mirror to your own life, they show you the problems you need to address.

Heated Debate

2010-02-07T12:32:00.000-05:00

I work in journalism. When people find this out, they often want to tell me everything they find wrong with my business...but I'm not bitter.
Last night, this guy tells me he doesn't like it on the news when we don't mention a suspects race. If you haven't noticed. If we don't have a photo of a suspect, and the police just tell us they are looking for a 20 year old white man, we will just tell the public that police are looking for a 20 year old man. The theory is, that him being white will do nothing to help people identify him because there are thousands of 20 year old white men roaming the streets.
Now if he was a 20 year old white man with a scar on his left cheek....then we would include all of those details because that's enough information to help the public identify this guy.
The guy that I was debating with said he doesn't think it's fair to withhold information, if the police give a description we need to share all of it.
I told him I don't think it's fair for all the 20 year old white men out there to release such a generic description. It's those types of descriptions that make certain races get followed around a store when they are shopping or lead women to cross the street when a black man is walking down the street.
In my opinion, the type of journalism I'm practicing is making people more aware of ALL people. You shouldn't just cross the street if a black man is headed your way, I cross the street if any man is walking my way.
What do you guys think?

Crutch

2010-02-06T14:29:00.000-05:00

I was thinking about cutting my hair. I have long hair, to the middle of my back. And I was looking in the mirror thinking of chopping it off to like my chin.
After imagining myself with this hair cut I had to stop. I realized that my hair is my crutch. As a woman...I've come to view it as something that makes me special. I'm the girl with long hair. Then, my thoughts turn to fear. What if I cut off my hair and there's nothing special about me anymore? I'm just another girl...
Sure I know I have great qualities but this is how my mind works.
So my hair is my crutch. Now do I challenge myself, force myself to deal with this crutch and chop off my hair or do i accept the fact that I am dependent on my hair and that's the way it will always be.

Go The Distance

2010-02-06T14:00:00.000-05:00

I was talking to a friend about this blog...and she thought maybe it crossed the line of too much information. But in our society...we make things taboo that shouldn't be taboo.
Men talk about their sexual conquests all the time. That's why they are all on the same page and able to play this "game." I think we as women need to share our experiences so that we too are all on the same page and know what's normal and what's not normal. That's part of the reason I wrote the pillow talk blog.
Today's topic...what's your longest sexual experience. My friend, we'll call her Nicole, was with a guy for 3 hours. I'm not talking 3 hours of multiple sessions...one session, start to finish...3 hours.
Is that normal?

Get Da Steppin

2010-02-05T21:54:00.000-05:00

I've been watching a lot of reruns of Martin lately. On the show, Martin is known for being VERY mean to his girlfriends best friend Pam.
He insults her appearance, her breath, he kicks her out his house. It's some of the rudest, yet funniest thing to ever be on T.V.
The interesting thing is that Gina, Martin's girlfriend, allows him to talk to her best friend like this.
How do you guys feel about a guy who isn't nice to your friend?
A guy I was not dating but not not dating, recently kicked my friend out his house. Rude, right?
I think how your man treats your friends says a lot about how he feels about you BUT on Martin...it's clear that Martin LOVES Gina.
So is it possible for a guy to like you and not your friends?

My New Beauty Guide

2010-01-25T22:32:00.000-05:00

My favorite youtube channel has a new blog and I think it is less than a month old and I already love it.
If you love to find out about new natural beauty products, fashion trends, good food...whatever... Spoiled Little L.A. Girls has it. I'm very picky when it comes to blogs so trust me when I say give this one a chance, it's really fun to explore and it's not just for L.A. girls.

The Chart

2010-01-25T20:10:00.000-05:00

Sorry guys...the blog has gotten very sexual lately. I swear this is just a phase for those of you who are bored.
Anyways, I had a great round of girl talk Saturday night with a woman who has known me since my first sexual experience.
We got to talking about the mistakes of our past and she pointed out that the best sex you had probably isn't as good as you remember it...that's why you have to keep track.
Always known for her attention to detail, my friend then pulled out her laptop where she keeps her chart.
Now I've heard of keeping a list...but never a chart.
On the chart, my friend has a list of all her partners.
Next to each partner is 10 columns. Each category can get 10 points, and each person can get a maximum of 100 points.
So you would take John Doe and you would rate him in
Oral
Stamina
Stroke
Creativity
Bounce Back
Kissing
Hygiene
Size
Aggressiveness
Dirty Talk

Then you add it all up and see how he ranks.And you can give a guy a zero in categories that do not apply to him.
Whether you've had 2 partners or two thousand, I think it's a fun exercise.
See who adds up to 100...or falls way short of it...

Pillow Talk

2010-01-24T22:50:00.000-05:00

Men are fascinating. If there was a major that allowed me to study and date them in college, I probably would've picked it.
Something I'm hearing more and more about with these guys is their gift for gab. Not in the daylight but after the sun sets...in between the sheets.
What is it about sexin that makes men say things they would never say to you standing up?
I've heard stories about guys saying everything from "I love you" to "I only want you to be with me" in the middle of sex.
I've had one of these experiences, and I play deaf, dumb and blind as if it never happened.
Are men sharing these thoughts all because of the power of the cookie?
How seriously do you take something a guy tells you during sex? Is it just the heat of the moment?
As always...I must refer back to Sex and the City.
Remember the episode where Charlotte was dating the really sweet guy? Every time they got together he screamed "you f*cking slut you f*cking whore." (I chuckle every time I think about it)
Personally, I think what he said was a reflection of how he views women...so is what any guy says during sex a reflection of how he really views you???

Pray For A Man

2010-01-23T12:52:00.000-05:00

I was invited to an event on facebook called "30 Days of Prayer for Your Man."
My initial thought was someone is sick and in need of prayer. When i opened the invitation I realized I was wrong. I wanted to share this with you 20somethings and I'm very curious to hear your thoughts on praying for your man.

Each day in the month of January, pray for your man wherever or whomever he might be. You do not have to be married or in a relationship to take this challenge; if you believe that there is a man out there for you, pray for him.

THE PRAYER CHALLENGE
Day 1
Pray that your husband will grow spiritually and consider his accountability before the Lord. Pray that he will guard his heart by developing spiritual disciplines—Bible reading and study, prayer, meditation, scripture memorization, etc. (2 Peter 3:18; Prov. 4:23)

Day 2
Pray that your husband’s relationship with God and His Word will bear fruit in his life. Pray that he will be a man of wisdom and understanding, fearing the Lord. (Prov. 3:7, 9:10; Ps. 112:1)

Day 3
Pray that your husband will be humble and quick to agree with God about his sin. Pray that his heart will be tender toward the voice of the Lord. (Ps. 51:2-4; Micah 6:8)

Day 4
Pray that your husband will grow in leadership skills in your relationship—protecting and providing for you. Pray that he will lead you wisely and love you sacrificially, so that God will be glorified in your marriage. (Eph. 5:25-29; Col. 3:19)

Day 5
Pray that your husband will be faithful to his wedding vows. Pray that he will have a desire to cultivate your relationship as a sign of his loyalty and commitment to you, and as a picture of Christ’s love for the Church. (Prov. 20:6; Gen. 2:24)

Day 6
Pray that your husband will love righteousness and hate wickedness, especially the evils of the culture. Pray that he will recognize and avoid wickedness in his own life, and if necessary, take a clear, strong stand against evil. (Prov. 27:12; John 17:15; 1 Cor. 10:12-13)

Day 7
Pray that your husband will safeguard his heart against inappropriate relationships with the opposite sex. Pray that his heart will be pure and undivided in his commitment to you. (Prov. 6:23-24, 26; Rom. 13:14)

Day 8
Pray that your husband will work hard to provide for your family, to the best of his ability. Pray that the character qualities necessary for a successful career and ministry will be a growing part of his character—persistence, decisiveness, strength, an analytical mind, organizational skills, positive relationships with people, determination, etc. (Rom. 12:11; 1 Cor. 15:58)

Day 9
Pray that your husband handle finances wisely, will have discernment concerning budgeting and investments, and will be a good steward of his money in regard to giving to the Lord’s work. Pray that money will not become a source of discord in your family. (Prov. 23:4-5; Rom. 12:13; Heb. 13:5)

Day 10
Pray that your husband will cultivate strong integrity, and not compromise his convictions. Pray that his testimony will be genuine, that he will be honest in his business dealings, and will never do anything that he needs to hide from others. (Prov. 20:7; 1 Tim. 1:5, 3:7; Eph. 6:10-12)

Day 11
Pray that your husband will have a humble, teachable spirit and a servant’s heart before the Lord. Pray that he will listen to God and desire to do His will. (Prov. 15:33; Eph. 6:6)

Day 12
Pray that your husband will yield his sexual drive to the Lord and practice self control. Pray that your sexual intimacy together will be fresh, positive, and a reflection of selfless love. (Prov. 5:15, 18; 1 Cor. 7:3; Song of Solomon 7:10)

Day 13
Pray that your husband use practical skills to build your family and make wise decisions for your welfare. Pray that he will serve unselfishly. (Gal. 5:13; Phil. 2:3-4)

Day 14
Pray that your husband will speak words that build you and your family, and reflect a heart of love. Pray that he will not use filthy language. (Prov. 18:21; Eph. 4:29)

Day 15
Pray that your husband will choose his friends wisely. Pray that God will bring him men who will encourage his accountability before God, and will not lead him into sin. (Prov. 13:20; Prov. 27:17)

Day 16
Pray that your husband will choose healthy, God-honoring activities. Pray that he will not live in bondage to any questionable habits or hobbies, but that he will experience freedom in holiness as he yields to the Spirit’s control. (1 Cor. 6:12, 10:31; 2 Tim. 2:4)

Day 17
Pray that your husband will enjoy his manliness as he patterns his life after Christ and strong men in the faith. Pray for his physical, emotional, mental, social and spiritual strength. (Eph. 3:16; 1 Peter 2:21; 1 Cor. 10:11)

Day 18
Pray that your husband will have an eternal perspective—living in light of eternity. Pray that he will reject materialism and temporal values and put God first in his life. (Matt. 6:33; Deut. 6:5; Eph. 5:16; Ps. 90:12)

Day 19
Pray that your husband will be patient and a man of peace. Pray that he will not give in to anger, but will allow the Holy Spirit to control his responses. (Rom. 14:19; Ps. 34:14)

Day 20
Pray that your husband will yield his mind and thoughts to the Lord. Pray that he will not entertain immoral or impure thoughts, and that he will resist the temptation to indulge in pornography. (Prov. 27:12; 2 Cor. 10:5)

Day 21
Pray that your husband will learn how to relax in the Lord and, in his greatest times of stress, find joy and peace in his relationship with God. Pray that he will submit his schedule to the Lord. (Neh. 8:10; Prov. 17:22; Ps. 16:11)

Day 22
Pray that your husband will practice forgiveness in your relationship and with others. Pray that he will recognize any roots of bitterness, and yield any resentment and unforgiving attitudes to the Lord. (Eph. 4:32; Heb. 12:15)

Day 23
Pray that your husband will be a good father—disciplining his children wisely and loving them unconditionally. If he is not a father, pray that he will find a young man to mentor in the things of the Lord. (Eph. 6:4; Col. 3:21; 2 Tim. 2:1-2)

Day 24
Pray that your husband will have a balanced life—that he will balance work and play. Pray that he will fear God, but also gain favor with people he knows at work and church. (Luke 2:52; Prov. 13:15)

Day 25
Pray that your husband will be courageous in his stand against evil and injustice, and that he will stand for the truth. Pray that he will protect you and your family from Satan’s attacks. (Ps. 31:24; Eph. 6:13; Ps. 27:14)

Day 26
Pray that your husband will discover and live his God-given purpose. Pray that he will offer all his dreams to the Lord, and pursue only those goals that will bring God glory and count for eternity. (Jer. 29:11; 1 Cor. 10:31)

Day 27
Pray that your husband will understand the importance of taking care of his body—the temple of the Holy Spirit—for the glory of God. Pray that he will practice self-control by making wise food choices, and get sufficient exercise to stay healthy. (Rom. 12:1-2; 1 Cor. 6:19-20, 9:27)

Day 28
Pray that your husband will be a man of prayer. Pray that he will seek and pursue God in purposeful quiet times. (1 Thess. 5:17; Luke 22:46; James 5:16)

Day 29
Pray that your husband will surrender his time and talents to the Lord. Pray that his spiritual gifts will be manifest in his career, at church, and in your home. (Eph. 5:15-16; 1 Cor. 12:4, 7)

Day 30
Pray that your husband will serve God and others with pure motives. Pray that he will obey the Lord from his heart, and glorify Him in everything. (1 Cor. 10:13; John 7:17-18; Col. 3:23-24)

Day 31
Pray that your husband will recognize the lies of the Enemy in his life. Pray that his attitudes and actions will be guided by the truth as he brings his thoughts into captivity to the Word of God. (John 8:44; 2 Cor. 10:4-5)

What Are You Blogging For?

2010-01-22T20:39:00.000-05:00

My blog can be very silly. But I had to take a moment of pause when I saw the following blog post.
Here's an excerpt. When you are done reading, follow the link to the actual blog and then click here to help haiti.
This post is from http://mollyinhaiti.blogspot.com/

Molly is no longer able to add to her blog, her body was recovered from the wreckage of the Fr. Wasson Center in Petion-Ville, Haiti following the January 12th earthquake.

Molly's family is very proud of what she has done in her 22 years on this earth and hope that you will learn from Molly's writings what drove her to leave a life full of family, friends, hot water, clean water, plentiful food and peppermint frappuccinos, to a life of cold showers, bug bites, rice and beans everyday, and hot muggy days. Its very simple, THE CHILDREN. In Haiti she found unconditional love, simple pleasures, smiles all day and a second family. And it made her smile.

If you would like to help continue Molly's dream and journey, please follow the listed link to the Friends of the Orphans web site set up in Molly's name.

http://www.friendsoftheorphans.org/molly

Posted by her loving and extremely sad family, both of them

They Use to Romance Us

2010-01-13T23:42:00.000-05:00

Before they were asking us to have a baby by them and be a millionaire, men use to put in WORK for a ladies affection.
The next time you find yourself blushing at some rapper or singers "romantic" lyrics, I want you to think back to how it use to go down.
Let me introduce you to Teddy Pendergrass.
The man invented SOUL. Here he is performing "Close the Door."
Tonight, he passed away. RIP Teddy P.
(he breaks it down around 5:30)

The Most Annoying Days of 2010

2010-01-11T22:58:00.001-05:00

February 12th-14th.
Those will be the most annoying days of 2010.
I have no hang ups about my lack of a man right now. I know he is out there looking for me BUT I do have an issue with an entire weekend that is designed to remind me that I don't have a man.
I was thinking about my Valentine's Days of the past the other day and I realized none of them were truly earth shattering. I think the most special Valentine's gifts have come from my Mom or Dad. Even their cards are usually more thoughtful than anything any ex has said.
I have yet to meet a man who understands my need to be spoiled the way my parents do.
So I am boycotting Valentine's Day until I meet a guy who knows that I need flowers, candy and diamonds while cruising on a yacht in the Riviera.
So in the next couple of weeks I'm going to order myself some flowers, candy and diamonds (or maybe some lip gloss that sparkles like diamonds) and give myself the Valentine's day I deserve!

Women in the Work Place

2010-01-11T22:50:00.000-05:00

I now understand why sexual harassment laws exist. Men really think they can say anything.
I can't imagine being a women in the 70s when we were breaking that glass ceiling and sitting next to men for the first time.
In the last few weeks I've heard some inappropriate things in the workplace (derogatory terms for Gays, breasts and someones last name turned into something that rhymes with genitals, just to name a few)
Now I do work in news and things are a bit raunchy in the newsroom but I'm already getting tired of playing deaf, blind and dumb when men decide to be...men.
I saw one co-worker hand another a newspaper ad with girls in bikinis...it was only further evidence that men never ever grow up.
Now I'm not ready to run to HR because I think that's only necessary when such antics prevent me from being able to do my job. So far, they are only a learning lesson about how men think.
When do you guys think sexual harassment goes too far...in fact, what do you think it is?
Do we as women too often try not to rock the boat and unintentionally let men get away with murder?

Looking Back but Moving Forward

2010-01-10T18:05:00.000-05:00

At the start of 2009. I had the usual list of resoutions, eat healthier, exercise, blah blah blah. But there was one special one at the top of the list...move back to the East coast.
Well, here I am! It's amazing to look back over the last 12 months and see a dream turn into reality. I encourage you all to make some resolutions for 2010 because you never know what could happen.
That was the highlight of 2009. But there were a few low lights. Lost some loved ones, loved some lost ones but at the end of the day, I really have zero regrets.
Yes, I wish I had never experienced some things (the ex-girlfriend that busted in this guys room while I was there, the young man with performance issues, the moment i seriously considered dating someone a good 4 inches shorter than me).
In the end...I learned from it all. As crazy as 2009 was, I learned some valuable lessons like any guy that mentions his ex in the first 3 dates has ISSUES with her and you should RUN.
So I'm taking my lessons and moving forward with them but I will not hold on to the bitter emotions that prevented me from even blogging about some of 2009.
In 2010, I look forward to new crazy men and new lessons! And this time, I will share with you so we can laugh together :)

You're Flirting with Me! But...You're Old!

2010-01-10T18:00:00.001-05:00

I've recently realized that we 20 somethings do not ONLY catch the eye of other 20 somethings and 30 somethings.
If you are cute...and you look over 18, apparently these 40 somethings think they have a chance too!
Now I'm not one to knock a May to December romance... I still have a crush on Denzel and Harrison Ford despite their ages.
BUT I think it's important for us all to be aware that just because a man looks like your Uncle that doesn't mean he is looking at you like a niece.
Be careful out there girls, keep your guard up. I recently found myself in a situation where I was being cute and innocent only to realize I was being viewed as a some 40 somethings next little fling.
Men are thinking with their pants at 20, 30, 40 and beyond.

60 seconds...

2010-01-10T17:51:00.000-05:00

Time for a random observation!

I think when you meet a guy, you can pretty much get an understanding of his intentions within the first 60 seconds of conversation.
For example...if a guy says the following he is probably thinking...
"What are you doing later" = he wants to hear how open you are to late night hanging out (this could be innocent late night eats or something more X rated)

"Do you live alone" = he wants to be all up in your house eating your food and watching your cable and he also probably has a wack ass apartment or no apartment at all

"did you come here with your friends" = he wants to see if you can go home with him and be able to drive yourself back to your house in the morning or if he will have to chauffeur you around

"here's my number" = he is insecure about asking women for their number because he fears rejection

"Are you single" = This one's tricky...he's single and interested in being in a relationship OR he is NOT single and guilty about it.

Now just because a guy asks a question that shows he has X-rated intentions, that does not mean that is all he is after. Sometimes you have to show a guy what kind of girl you are to make him ask the right questions ;)

"Don't get Diabetes"

2010-01-10T17:42:00.000-05:00

I'm back 20 somethings. Did you miss me? I apologize for being gone SO long but I have moved to the East coast. It took some time to get the internet working but we are back in business!!
After 7+ years in Southern California, where finding an educated Black man is like discovering a four leaf clover, I am THRILLED to be on the East coast.
There are attractive men EVERYWHERE. Now I'm not saying they are worth sh*t but it's nice to have options (since my interracial dating experiment never really worked out).
My first weekend out in the city was like being a kid in a candy store. And I will admit...I was a kid with a severe case of A.D.D. in a candy store with $100 to spend.
I gave out my number to a LOT of people. And after a month...I've narrowed my roster down to two. But we all know you need 11 players on a basketball team so I still have lots of "research" to do. I'm kidding! Clearly I'm not about to date 11 men, but I'm a new girl in a new city and I surely can't marry the first man I meet. So I'm going to get out the house, mingle and tell you guys all about it!
When I told my mom about my first night out she had one piece of advice "Don't get diabetes." I asked her what she meant and she simply said "don't overload on chocolate"
Which immediately made me wonder about my moms life as a 20 something...

Dating for Perks

2009-11-17T16:57:00.000-05:00

We've all heard of dating for dinner. Or maybe that's just me. But I think I'm not alone when I say I consider the possibility of a free meal when a guy asks me out.
What happens when there is more on the table than a free meal?
A friend of mine is dating a man that she's just not that into. He lives in Miami, she does not...she wants to keep dating him because helloooooo he lives in Miami!
Is it wrong to date someone even if you don't have a spark?
Is it wrong to date someone just to get a trip to Miami?
I think it's okay to date a man that you don't have a spark with.
But when are you dating someone you're not that into and when are you using them and wasting their time?
If my friend is reading this, I think you should date the guy. Let him invite you to Miami. Get your OWN hotel room and label it a fun adventure. But if he uses the L word, it's time to cut him off before feelings get hurt.

The Problem With Trey Songz

2009-11-10T18:22:00.000-05:00

If you haven't met Trey Songz. Say Hello.
That is his latest video, I Invented Sex.
I don't watch music videos but my friends said I had to watch this one. Sigh...
This video and the existence of Trey Songz raises several problems for me. I'm notorious for having crushes and now...he is on the list. But as a 20-something, I'm way too old to be crushing on a grown man! Or is it okay to have unrealistic crushes?
My problem with Trey is that he is not reality. The chances of me meeting a man as adorable as him are slim to none. Now for those of you who don't find him attractive...I respect your opinion. You are the same people who looked at me crazy when I was obsessed with Nelly, yes...Nelly, in the 10th grade. And in hindsight you were only looking out for me because who could love a man with a band aid on his face? Only me!
But this Trey...he is no Nelly. And now I have a crush. I'm 24 years old with a crush on a grown man. Hmph! Not FAIR! Someone make him go away...

20 something & Married

2009-11-09T12:51:00.000-05:00

I'm in my early 20s and I have very few friends who are married. So when I meet someone who has made "the plunge" before they are 30, I'm very eager to hear about their experiences in marital bliss.
Hopefully you will enjoy this inside look as much as I did from our anonymous contributor.

The Honeymoon Is Over

When you walk down the aisle it is like all your dreams are coming true- everything you prayed for is becoming real right in front of you. So life is grand and there is nothing that can stop your happiness. BLISS! Yes, love is great and marriage is beautiful but why dont the fairy tales talk about the trying times that will inevitably come? why dont they teach us how to listen well? forgive completely? and sacrifice endlessly?
I am definitely not putting marriage down because I love my husband and moreover I love my marriage. I am simply stating that you need more than LOVE because the honeymoon does end. I am a 20 something newly wed and I am sure as time goes on I will learn more but, right now, I can say that love is the emotion that drives me to be a good wife but it can not stand on its own... I have to use patience, active listening, selective verbal communication, refraining from controlling tendencies, displaying affection consistently and in keeping the spark, steering clear of hilding grudges, investing in a firm relationship with God in order to have a back drop the measure the marriage and union against. Each day teaches me new attributes that I have to use in my marriage that are beyond love... We spend a lot of time in fairyland and it starts at an early age- and even in adult hood we play out our ideas of what the fairy tale should be and we are disappointed when things go off script! When you get real in your marriage you are forced to say to yourself "that fairytale shit is crap!". When you make your vows it is not "I will love you no matter how buff you get, I will be here no matter how healthy you remain"- the vows represent commitment through all times, particularly the shadow side.

SOOOO when the honeymoon is over- the tests comes and you have no choice but to get real. The tests come in all forms- for example, I have a friend who is a nutritionist but her husband is very unhealthy and having a difficult time changing his eating/exercise habits to benefit his overall heath- this is a serious test because the very thing she represents isn’t being practiced in her home by the person she loves most. Another example, my husband is an artist and his form of art (theatre) requires him to spend a lot of time away from home- well that doesn’t work as much for me because I don’t like to be alone and I especially don’t like cooking for one... as a wife I have to not only support his passions but also use clear communication to explain to him my dilemma. (Outcome: he decided to take a break from the theatre for a while to focus on his marriage as you only transition from the la la land/honeymoon stage once). Getting real requires self searching and opening up like you never have before- you get real by accepting your own insecurities and letting your mate in on that. EXAMPLE: "I don’t like to be placed second to anything because when I asked my dad to go to rehab he told me no- I felt like I came second to his drug addiction- I have a problem not being the priority in your life". Opening up sounds easy but it is hard as hell because we have spent most of our lives covering up our insecurities, issues, dark secrets or feeling really bad about them. You gotta put them on the table for dinner... they are hard to look at and even harder to swallow.

The transition from La La Land to reality challenges you to really love your mate and to really give to your relationship. I believe that God created marriage to teach us hard lessons and also to give us a joy like nothing else. Prepare your minds and hearts for this here reality if marriage is in your future!!! :) From one sista to anotha...

Also, lots of interest in guest blogging these days. Just leave a comment if you would like to do a post of your own with your email address and I will contact you. I welcome posts on ANY topic.

Hate

2009-11-04T21:42:00.000-05:00

I understand that there are people with hate in their hearts all over the world.
Today, someone asked me if my openly Gay friend had AIDS yet.
I've never been so disgusted in my life.
My question is...why?
What makes people so full of hate?
AND why do they think it's okay to share their rude views with others?

Too Old to Daydream?

2009-10-28T15:23:00.000-04:00

I'm a daydreamer.
Lately I've been playing the wedding daydream game.
One day as I started to text some of my friends about the Vera Wang wedding dress I wanted, I started to wonder if I was too old for this.
I think there are 2 age brackets when you are allowed to fantasize about that special day, from 6 to 17 and from whatever age you are proposed to and until the wedding day.
I just felt silly getting all worked up about Vera with no man to picture at the end of the aisle.
I won't even get into the list of wedding songs I have stored away, but in my defense, I compiled that list when I was 18 (but I do find myself adding to it).
So do you guys think it's immature to plan your wedding without a ring on your left hand?

Karma and The City

2009-10-26T12:29:00.000-04:00

I bought Sex and the City the movie this weekend. I've watched it 4 times in two days...
If you haven't seen it then you should probably stop reading because I'm going to give away the plot.
So in the movie. Big stands up Carrie at the alter on their wedding day.
Here's my question for you...did Carrie have such a blow coming for her after all that she has done?
I believe in karma, especially when it comes to relationships. There are two things that make me think Carrie had this coming...
1) Cheated on Aiden with Big
2) Broke up Big's marriage AND made Natasha fall and bust her face
I know it's just a movie but I think we can learn a lot from Carrie.
In the movie, never does she ask herself "what did I do to deserve this." All the blame falls on Big. And he deserves the majority of it..
But the next time you are wondering why a guy did you wrong or why a relationship fell a part, think about what you have done to others. Maybe you had it coming...

What a Difference a Weave Makes

2009-10-25T19:19:00.000-04:00

A great story from our guest blogger Amber, it really needs no introduction...

For the eight months that I rocked my ‘Fro, I never went on a single date. Ever. When I started straightening my highlighted hair, the dates trickled in over the following year and a half. A handful of cute brothas here and there, and a book’s worth of hilarious dating stories. And now that I have the 18’’ weave? I’ve had a guy buy my four friends and me rounds of drinks. Acquaintances at my job have exclaimed with shocked faces, “Amber, you just look….beautiful today!” A black man handed me a rose in Hermosa Beach, saying “for the most beautiful black woman up in here tonight.” A stunning, exotic-looking lesbian boldly grabbed my ass and told me to take down her number. I’ve caught older white men lustfully stare at me at an‘SC tailgate…at dinner…in a bar….

And all of this has happened in the mere three days that I’ve had a weave.

I can’t bear to think that hair has this much power. Maybe men have always checked me out, and I didn’t really noticed before – hey, I’ve been known to be oblivious. Or, maybe, I carry myself differently now – more confidently? Or perhaps I’m just blowing a few experiences out of proportion. I mean, how can six ounces of Indian hair stitched to my scalp be more alluring than my stylish threads, my sweet personality, my natural, soft kinky hair? Does long straight hair really have the omnipotent power I think it might have?

I was determined to find out the answer so I listened to other people’s stories. I asked Tamari, a savvy make-up artist and a hair stylist with a true gift for making other women look good. “I’ve worn my hair short, long, medium and everything in between,” Tamari laughed. “And let me tell you, men – especially Black men – like long, well put-together hair. I’ve noticed that I’ve gotten more attention when I wear my hair long.”

Tamari, a Black woman like myself, had noticed that men treated her differently when she had some tracks. But did “hair length” affect women of other races too? I asked my two close co-workers, Carolyn and Starlyn, who are Asian and Jewish respectively. “When I had long hair, guys would touch my hair in awe,” Carolyn revealed. “I think it fulfilled the submissive Asian woman stereotype. But still, I miss my long hair - I have hair envy. I find myself tugging on it, playing with it, pulling it. Long hair is fun. I’m growing it out again.” “I agree,” Starlyn nodded her head. “When I was a news anchor for ten years, I had to wear short hair, because it’s perceived as more ‘serious.’ Now that I’m not in the news business, I’m so happy to grow out my hair.”

Hmmm. Looks like Black women weren’t the only ones coping with this vicious hair battle. Women of all races – and apparently ages, too – seemed to struggle with hair and how it relates to our femininity, our beauty, our worth. I thought about my twelve-year-old Latina step-sister Ashley, who has said that my hair looks prettier long and straight than curly or in an Afro style. I thought about my eight-year-old cousin Alanis, who makes it a point to show me that her golden brown hair reaches down to her butt. She excitedly tugs on it, and searches my face for approval. Her sixteen-year-old sister Jessica, puts extensions in her already long, naturally Blonde hair. One day, as she flipped through a teen magazine, she pointed to a model with unrealistically platinum Blonde locks. Jessica said she wanted her hair to look like that. “But your hair is already Blonde,” Carla, my aunt, protests. Jessica moodily replied, “I want it Blonder…and longer.” Carla, who wears a short natural, rolls her eyes.

I’ve been blessed to think I was a cute little thang whether I rocked a ‘Fro, a weave, or braids. But I don’t think – as I’ve seen from my experiences and other women’s tales – that the world seems to feel the same way. Now I’m asking myself questions that never crossed my mind before. Questions like: “Would wearing a long weave make life easier? Easier to get a drink at the bar, to obtain that promotion – find a great husband?” As shallow as it may seem, the image we put forth to the world is how it defines us.

So now I ask you. How have your different hairstyles defined your experiences, if at all?

From ‘Fro to weave,
-Amber

Why Lie?!

2009-10-20T12:16:00.001-04:00

Men lie.
So much so that it was a trending topic on twitter yesterday.
I get very annoyed about twitter trending topics because they are mostly posted by people who just want to hear their own voice and see people say they are funny, but I guess that is the point of twitter.
So back to men who lie...
Two tweets stood out to me yesterday that just made me say WHY?!
I can understand a little white lie, everyone does it. Like the time I told my parents it wasn't me who carved my brothers initials in the piano bench...it was the perfect crime, I was never caught :)
But why tell lies that will be found out.
For example,
why would you lie about going to college?
Do you really think you could get away with this lie during a relationship? You don't think I'll meet your mom and she will tell me all your business?
Another stupid lie my friend posted.
Some guy told her that his roommate stole from him and broke his stuff so he moved back home with his mom.
really? I'm suppose to buy that? I mean what's so hard about saying "I live at home."
Yes it could prevent you from getting my number but take that risk. Be real! relationships that start on lies don't last. I don't know if I have any male readers out there but listen up :)

Why Don't You....

2009-10-20T12:08:00.001-04:00

Here's an idea. Next time you're at the supermarket and about to hit the bakery section to fulfill the cravings of your sweet tooth, STOP!
I'm in no way saying don't eat sweets, I'm saying make them yourself!
You don't know how? You're in luck, I have a friend that is a baking queen and she has started a blog full of tasty delights (it's not full yet but it will be soon!)
Go today to learn how to make Pumpkin scones just in time for Fall. Yum! The blog is called For "the Gourmandise in All of Us.."

A Far Too Common Story

2009-10-19T14:15:00.000-04:00

Unfortunately men suck. Because of that we have all been exposed to extreme cases of heartbreak. Guest blogger Zinzi has the courage to share her story and I think it's something we can all relate to. The good news is, she is healing and her process can inspire us all to heal too!
You can read more of her clever stories and takes on life on her blog

A year ago on Halloween, I was invited to an amazing party. It was a celebration for a husband-and-wife author team who were releasing a magnificent cookbook, and as the Editorial Assistant for the book, I was invited to partake in the festivities.
The party was a New York dream. It was held in the kitchen of a four-star restaurant, and the guest list was a who’s-who of the New York food world. I looked incredibly cute: I was wearing a sexy, short vintage dress and Marc Jacobs heels. My roommate was dressed up also and on her way uptown in a cab to be my plus one. But I never made it inside. I spent the entire time outside of the party, crying on the phone to my very patient best friend in LA. When my roommate showed up, she hustled me off to the subway, and we went home.
I had been in New York City for about a year, working my butt off in book publishing as an assistant to an Executive Editor. My ex-boyfriend and I had been in an on-again, off-again relationship for five years. When he moved to New York from Texas, where he was living with his parents after graduation, we were in different places. We broke up but remained close—we were best friends, and on occasion we were intimate.
The previous Friday, we’d shared the most pleasant night together since he’d moved to New York. We met up at a mutual friend’s birthday party, and he looked great. There was something different about him. Something about his posture, and the way he walked that night. He had an aura of confidence that he hadn’t shown since he’d moved to the city. We went home together that night, and two days later I found out he was seeing someone else.
I spent a month going back and forth with him while he was seeing this other person, during which I lost two dress sizes from not eating, spent countless nights up, either on the phone with him or just unable to sleep, and suffered a couple minor panic attacks. Finally, after a particularly harrowing night of insomnia, I confronted him, and forced him to choose between me and her. He chose her, and we cut off all communication, ending our relationship for good.
My life since has been a complete whirlwind. I’ve made some strides in my job—I finished editing my first book. I’ve developed great relationships with people I work with, including the authors who threw the party, whose book went on to win the top honor in food writing. I got a great new apartment. I made friends and re-connected with others. I’ve written a good part of a novel.
So what have I learned? First, it’s important to remember that pain is inevitable. All I can do is trust myself that when it happens, I’ll figure out how to handle it. It’s also important not to be afraid to risk being alone when someone is hurting you. I think often about where I would be if I hadn’t had the courage to confront him when I did.
I’m sure other lessons from this experience remain to be seen. I’m not sure if I’m “over it” yet. I miss him sometimes. The pain is gone, but I remain pretty hesitant to trust others romantically. I can’t report a happy ending yet. After several romantic disasters, I took a self-imposed break from dating. I’m currently inching myself out of isolation, and let me tell you, it’s scary.
I’m writing this because Halloween is in two weeks, and I hope it will be better than last year. For those of you not in New York, Halloween here is amazing. Everyone goes out and is in good, mischievous spirits. Masked strangers crowd the streets lining parade routes, dancing and singing. The subway is one giant, mobile costume party. It is mysterious and romantic, and you feel that anything can happen.
Maybe I will fall in love with a masked stranger, or maybe I will have another heartbreak—I don’t know, and for the first time in awhile that feels like a good thing. I know this for sure: I’ve gotten a few invites to parties, I’ve sent my RSVPs, and I plan on attending. I look forward to celebrating with my friends, whom I’ve grown closer to, it’s safe to say, due to the events of the past year. I don’t have a costume yet. I have a vague idea of being an angel, but haven’t found the perfect pair of wings yet. But I am excited.

Support Adultery

2009-09-28T17:57:00.000-04:00

The internet is buzzing with the letter Swizz Beatz wife wrote about Alicia Keys stealing her husband.
I won't go into the details. You can see them here.
But after reading it all, I know two things seem true. 1) Swizz Beatz is still married. 2) Alicia keys is dating him.
Now, this brings me to my question. How do you feel about supporting an artist who is involved in the break-up of a marriage?
I buy R. Kelly records and we ALL know what he did. But there is something about this Alicia Keys drama that makes me want to cut her off. Something about getting involved with another mans wife rubs me the wrong way. What do you guys think?

Los Angeles

2009-09-24T21:25:00.000-04:00

I was debating going for this job in L.A. the other day. It would be a great career move. And as I was thinking about it the first thing that popped in my head was "if I move to L.A. I will NEVER get married."
Now no disrespect to Los Angeleno's BUT i lived in the city of Angels for 4 years and had a lot of fun. BUT the dating scene is a NIGHTMARE. Like men in ski masks chasing you with butcher knives NIGHTMARE.
Here are the guys you meet in L.A.
-The actor
-The model
-The actor/model
-The musician
-The entrepreneur
-The unemployed
In L.a. there are no REGULAR people. No guys that go to work from 9 to 5 and come home.
This is a problem for me. I've come to the conclusion that if my husband is not ridiculously famous (athlete, rock star) then he needs to be regular.
Now that I've come to this conclusion about L.A. What do you guys think about skipping out on a job just because you don't see yourself meeting the man of your dreams in that city?

Thanks for the memories

2009-09-20T13:43:00.000-04:00

I'm doing my spring cleaning in the fall and I came across that box, you know the one full of old photos, birthday cards, postcards and such.
I found some notes from my ex and I'm wondering what you guys think about keeping sentimental stuff from your past relationships.
I don't keep stuff for the emotional attachment, but one day when i'm 80, I think it will be nice to look back on the loves of my life and the mementos that represent those loves.
Do you think keeping these items counts as "baggage?" Is there an expiration date on old love letters?

The male perspective

2009-09-20T13:40:00.000-04:00

A friend sent me this blog, it's called "Until I get married, inside the mind of a bachelor."
Quite an entertaining read that I thought you would all enjoy. Here's an excerpt.

I want to get a phone call, at like 6:00 p.m. Not 11:00 p.m. I want the person’s voice on the other end of the phone to be a woman. I want her to say, “Hey, what are you doing right now?” When I say, “Umm, nothing. Chilling. Watching SportsCenter.” I want her to say, “You hungry?”And when I say, “Yeah, I was actually about to eat right now.” I want her to say, “Don’t. Come over. I’m cooking dinner.”
Now that right there is sexy.

Love Life

2009-09-12T00:22:00.000-04:00

I'm back to the blog, had some issues with AT&T but now I've found someones internet to steal so it's all good!
In life, it's easy to complain and beat yourself up about the little things that come along the way.
But the fact of the matter is, no matter what's going on, you still have your life. I know it sounds corny but I'm being very serious. It's taken some tragic events for this point to become so important to me.
It's so important that I want to share my new philosophy with you guys. It's called the optimist creed. I've pasted a copy by my bathroom mirror, hope it adds a fresh outlook to your day.

Before each line repeat "I promise myself"

To be so strong that nothing can disturb my peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person I meet.

To make all my friends feel that there is something worthwhile in them.

To look at the sunny side of everything and make my optimism come true.

To think only of the best, to work only for the best and to expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as I am about my own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile to every living creature I meet.

To give so much time to improving myself that you have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of myself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud word, but in great deeds.

To live in the faith that the whole world is on my side, so long as I am true to the best that is in me.

Magic City

2009-09-12T00:11:00.000-04:00

What would you do for a dollar? Not much right?
What about $10? I'd probably stand on my head for $10...
But in this recession, what would you do for several hundred dollars a night?
Take your clothes off and dance with strange men?
It's a tricky question and it's no secret that stripping is something many women turn to when times are tough. (See NeNe's from the Real Housewives memoir)
And there reason for turning to stripping is always because..."times are tough."
I have a friend who is trying to get her money right and she joked "maybe I'll start stripping."
We laughed. And then I thought...do i really have one good reason to tell her not to?
I mean sure there's the self respect thing.
And there is the possibility your brother and his friends could come in your club for a bachelor's party, but beyond that? Why not?!
What's wrong with stripping. It's a recession, we all have bills, why not get them paid.
Okay, I'm playing devil's advocate guys. I know I could never do it. Not because I have too much self respect (some of you have seen me intoxicated and know that couldn't be the case) but because I'm easily embarrassed and I would hate to be judged.
Oh! And then there's my mama, I love life and I couldn't take it if she killed me after finding out.
This is the part where you guys weigh in...to strip or not to strip, that is the question.

love locked down

2009-08-15T14:33:00.000-04:00

A great guest blog. Makes you wonder if your man would treat you better if he had to love you from a jail cell...

Like most 20 somethings, when it comes to finding love I'll try
anything once...well almost anything. Last time it was online dating,
this time I've gone behind the walls...of a penitenary. Now before you
go judging me let me clarify. The guy I'm involved with was not a MWI
(that would be "Met While Incarcerated" for those of you unfamiliar to
prison lingo). In otherwords, I didn't find him on PrisonPenPals.com .
I've know him (Let's call him Jack) since I was 16. For nearly 6 years
we've been just friends. You know...the kind of friends that
acknowledge the two of you would be absolutely perfect for each other
but can never get on the same page at the same time. Well about a
year and a half ago we finally decided to get it together and see
where our "friendship" would take us. Then BAM!!! 5 months in...Jack
gets arrested. My love life is so tragic, as are the details of what
got him into the predicament that he's in so I won't bore you with the
story. However I will telI you that dating a man in prison has been
the best relationship
I've ever had!! .Now I know what your
thinking...but hear me out. My top 7 reasons dating a man locked up
has been fabulous!
1. I get old fashioned love letters in the mail, what could be better
than that!? AND because he has all day to think about what he wants to
say, these letters are like works of art...not your average "Hey baby,
I love you" texts that
I got from him before...
2. I'm an aquarious, which means I NEED space. With Jack locked up, I
get all the space in the WORLD...no smothering here!
3. He always calls when he says he's going to ...which leads me to my next point
4. Two words - Phone Sex (at the very least its funny and entertaining)
5. I ALWAYS know where he is...
6. The reality (and mounting anticipation) for "Freedom Sex". I hear
its like a hundred times better than make-up sex... I just can't even
conceive the greatness!
7. Prison muscles. Need I say more??

Theoretically it's a fail-proof relationship, but let me be the first
to tell you that being with a man locked up is not for the faint of
heart. In fact, it's probably one of the hardest relationships to deal
with. I mean, $20 phone calls, no physical contact...Just the
inability to pick up the phone and call him whenever is enough to make
most women run for the hills.
So why have I stayed by Jack's side through this ordeal? -Why wouldn't
I? Everyone makes mistakes...I guess I just believe in second chances.
Society has conditioned us to define each other by outward successes
and failures, not who we truly are inside. We're so quick to drop
friends and lovers when they fall outside of our little box of
perfection. Jack has failed, made a HUGE mistake, but this wasn't his
first or his last. When I'm asked how I can see a future with him, I
chuckle and remind them that he's still a full functioning human
being. But I'm not naïve, I know the challenges he faces after his
release, challenges that will follow him the rest of his life. And the
superficial side of me does acknowledge the fact that if he ends up
being "the one", I'll probably be poor...BUT who can put a price tag
on love right? Lol

Life was never meant to be easy and neither was love...but as my dear
friend Ms. 20SomethingJaz reminded me, you can't always help who you
love.

So lesson of the day, don't be so quick to write people off. Whether
it's for a season or a lifetme, be open to accepting people for who
they are and where they are in this journey. You may just discover the
true meaning of unconditional love.

P.S. Mr. Jack will be out in December...

Married Couples are the New Gay

2009-08-05T00:30:00.000-04:00

Since the first episode of Will & Grace it's become common knowledge that every girl needs a gay boyfriend. I don't mean a boyfriend that is gay but a gay man that acts as your boyfriend.
Well there is a new must have accessory, the married couple!
If you are a single 20 something then you are probably trying to find a way to make yourself unsingle.
20somethings are buzzing about married couples being the answer.
So i'm told if you get one they will be an example of what you should strive for. Married couples are an example of healthy, functional relationships (that's if you find the right couple)
The other plus side of getting yourself a married couple is that they will set you up with their single eligible friends. And the woman of the couple will know which guy friends are the marrying kind, so she will weed out all those losers for you.
So what are the down sides of rushing out and picking up your very own married couple?
What if it's depressing? You are single and you are constantly surrounded by this happy, in love couple. It could turn out to be a constant reminder of what you don't have.
So I watch a lot of sex and the city, another down side could be the husband falls in love with you (remember the episode with Charlotte?)
Let's face it 20 something, you are fabulous and attractive so if this married man is weak he may fall victim to your deadly good looks. OR what if you fall for him!?!
Even after exploring the down sides, I think I'm strong enough to say I want to go out and get myself a married couple. Now where do you find one...

Dear Suzy Homemaker

2009-07-29T02:13:00.001-04:00

I cook to eat.
Not because I enjoy it, but because I'm a frail girl and I need food to grow. I am a firm believer that 50% of women feel the same way. Then there are those women who actually enjoy cooking. They are my problem.
I eat sandwiches for lunch, these women make MEALS.
For breakfast, I enjoy cheerios. These women turn on the stove.
I love my friends who can cook (you know how you are). But once it affects my love life we have a problem.
I don't want to cook for anybody but ME.
I'm selfish, I'm lazy and I'm selfish.
You women are ruining my plan! I want to grow up to be one of those wives who comes home to dinner, not food that needs to be cooked.
But you talented cooks are out here cooking for men, wowing their appetites, leaving them satisfied, making it the standard for the next chick that comes along to throw down.
So I propose a deal!
let's stop cooking! At least until they put a ring on it.
If you stop cooking, he won't expect me to cook while we date, I'll be happy, you will get more time to work on your recipes and the man won't know anything different. He will expect a relationship free of food. Deal?
Don't get me wrong, one day when he buys me the diamond of my dreams I will have a recipe box and turn on the stove for breakfast...but until then, gimme a break.

Leave the Past In the Past

2009-07-29T01:59:00.000-04:00

A friend of mine got a myspace message from her middle school boyfriend. I convinced her to call him (1. because I thought it might be entertaining 2. I need new blog material)
I think I can speak for her when I say that call shaped up to be one of the most ignorant conversations of her summer.
A boyfriend in middle school does not add up to an adult in real life.
Despite her lesson, I couldn't resist the urge to dive into my past and see what would happen.
It's kind of like the deep end of the pool, you know it's deep and you will get your hair wet if you walk over there but you still want to tip toe as far as possible until you actually get your hair wet.
Silly analogies aside, I called my ex because I was in his neighborhood, and in the movies, when people break up they are mature enough to meet for drinks and catch up.
Me and this ex have not talked in over 6 months. Our last communication was me telling him to learn how to lock his phone (not in a nice way).
So I called him, no answer, left a vmail, no return call. Moral of the story, I really tell you guys too much of my business and leave the past in the past!!
There is really no point in reaching out to people that have no place in your future. If they are meant to be a part of your future I think it will happen naturally. Like you will move across the country and they will randomly live on your street. But none of this boredom induced outreach...I lost my point, oh yeah, leave the past in the past.

Playing it Cool

2009-07-29T01:51:00.001-04:00

I'm crazy.
Like kind of insane, might sit outside a guys house, call him and hang up, show up at his job if I have a weak moment CRAZY.
Or I should say I use to be.
I'm trying this new approach to dating, I like to call it..."playing it cool."
If a guy calls, great! I dance around in my underwear for 30 minutes after we hang up.
If he doesn't call, I slide into a dark deep hole of depression.
Now the OLD 20 Something me would cry on the phone to a guy hysterically yelling at him, asking him why he chose not to call/ask me out/facebook poke me.
The NEW me holds the emotions in until I burst.
But I feel conflicted. I mean I actually enjoy being crazy!
And I want a guy who loves my crazy but I feel like I won't get that guy if I put it all out there early in the game.
Do you guys suppress your crazy? I know you are all crazy because you read and enjoy this blog!
Is the key to catching a guy only letting him see the parts of you he NEEDS to see, or should you put your true self out there from the start?

Another Woman's Pain

2009-07-29T01:44:00.000-04:00

I feel so evil for celebrating another woman's break up but...Reggie Bush and Kim "My Best friend says my ass looks like cottage cheese in a trash bag" Kardashian broke up.
(((((cheers)))))))
When this news broke, I was not alone in celebrating. My friends and I were tweeting and emailing in celebration.
Reggie Bush falls into that nice guy category. We all have a friend like him. Sweet, quiet and very, very good looking. No woman will EVER be good enough for him, especially one who's a celebrity for no reason.
It's not that I hate Kim K....I just don't like her. And at the end of the day I know Reggie will be better off with me...one day. (kidding, kind of...)
So if you are team Kim, I'm sorry. Call me mean, bitchy, hateful...a hater but I'm being honest and that's what this blog is all about (you probably forgot since I don't post enough)

Love is...

2009-06-16T00:21:00.000-04:00

I grew up in a household that was big on movies and music. So it's no surprise that I constantly refer to lyrics, movie lines and characters when I'm asked to define love. I was recently asked the difference between being in love and having love for someone and all that flashed in my head were some of my favorite movie scenes and songs. Tell me if I'm wrong for defining love like this but it's the only way I've known how to define it. This gets kind of sappy so if you have a sensitive gag reflex, click away now.
Love is...
Jerry McGuire,"You Complete Me" I mean, what more do you want to hear from a man other than that he is INCOMPLETE unless you are in his life.
Marvin Gaye & Tammy Terrel "Ain't no mountain high enough" An oldie but a goodie. If a man will climb mountains for you, I think that's love.
When Harry Met Sally, the final scene when Harry tells Sally everything that is weird about her is pretty much why he loves her. This one goes back to a conversation I had with my friend about how men love that we are crazy.
This one is up for debate BUT I just watched Seven Pounds and I think love is laying down your life so the person you love can live. That's a crazy kind of love but it's also pretty selfless.
Casablanca Love is letting the love of your life fly off with another man just because it's her only way out.
And finally...
Shrek, love is loving the princess even when she turns into an ugly green ogre.

I should put that on a bumper sticker

2009-06-13T01:36:00.000-04:00

This has been a great week for funny/significant quotes from friends, i thought I would put them on the blog so I won't forget.

"the only thing women have control over is whether or not we like the guy" -my mom on the early stages of a relationship

"marry for love but make sure he has dough (money)"

"sometimes you need some eye candy to brighten up your day"

"only men not interested in women are interested in womens clothes. Men who like women never notice what they wear" -Anatole France

"i think deep down guys know we are all crazy and they actually like it"

Hey, I'm in town, do you care?

2009-06-13T00:56:00.000-04:00

I'm going on another one of my fabulous get the F out of town adventures.
First stop, Chicago, home to a young man I met the last time I was in Chicago.
We hung out two, maybe 3 nights I was there and then kept in touch for about two weeks after I left and then he fizzled to nothing more than a facebook friend.
As I plan my vacation, do I contact this guy?
I was thinking of a facebook message just saying I'll be in town looking for things to do. But I don't know if I really care enough to hang out with him. My friends always tell me it's good to have man contacts in different cities so I guess contacting him would be keeping that contact strong.
what do you guys think??

Friend request denied

2009-06-13T00:41:00.000-04:00

There's this Olive Garden commercial where this woman is talking about she knew the perfect place to take her girlfriends and introduce them to her new boyfriend. You then see the group of women and the "new" guy laughing and eating over breadsticks, soup, salad and I think there was alfredo...anyways the first introduction of friends to the new boyfriend was a success (thanks to Olive Garden).
The part of that commercial they leave out is when everyone goes home and adds the "new" boyfriend on facebook.
This is a phenomenon I have now grown to hate.
I mean damn people, can you guys keep a man?!
If i have to unfriend a guy one more time because you guys had a really bad or awkward break up I will snap.
And even when the breakup isn't bad, I'm just looking at his status updates thinking "why am I his friend? Our mutual friendship is over"
So my new rule is that I'm not adding him at all. After we all chop it up at Olive Garden, that's the end. I'll bump into you at the birthday parties and group outings but facebook will not recognize our friendship.
To those of you who have stayed in your relationship since I "friended" your man, I salute you and hope you make it work so I don't have to select "remove as friend" anytime soon.

Why Mom?

2009-06-03T23:19:00.000-04:00

I hate to put my mother on the internet like this, but some things must be stopped.
My mom is retired, but because she can't sit still and i went to one of the most expensive colleges in the country, she works part time in a very busy office.
Lots of people pass through and she likes to tell me about them. recently she has been trying to tell me to introduce this guy who is moving to Chicago to my cousins who live there. Then, when she found out I would be in Chicago she told me I should hang out with him. I of course asked, "is he cute?" She said "no" and I said "we'll see..." Something about me asking if he was cute must have set off an alarm in my moms head that I wanted to be set up.

Anyways, today I get this email it says

"He is off to Georgetown to med school. Just looking out."

Attached is a photo of this RANDOM dude (not the Chicago guy) POSING with my mother.
Because of time differences, I have not gotten my mother on the phone yet to ask "Did you ask this man to pose with you so you could hook him up with your daughter?"
I mean I am approaching 24, is that the age your mother starts trying to set you up with random doctors?
I just can't stop shaking my head. Then again, I probably would be looking for a place in D.C. if this guy was more my type :)
****Out of respect for this aspiring med student, I won't post the picture and because I'm embarrassed by the camel toe my mom has going on in the picture. I'm going to have to talk to her about that too.

Two words buddy...Human resources

2009-05-29T01:21:00.000-04:00

I'm a big fan of personal space. I let my need for a hula hoop of space well known but for some reason, a few folks in the office didn't get the memo.
WHY must you put your hands on me EVERYTIME we interact. Some people i know are harmless but others...creep me out. I don't know how to put an end to this behavior without coming across as cold blooded.
But I swear there is one guy in particular who always has to do the shoulder rub or the arm touch and I almost snapped today. What's a girl to do?!!

Anybody got a Kleenex?

2009-05-28T01:14:00.000-04:00

Okay, i was JUST making fun of someone who said they cry at commercials. But THEN this one showed up during a weak moment and I teared up.
Can you blame me? You put little michael jackson's voice over images of people dealing with disaster and your knees are bound to be weak.
I'm not one to be a punk on my own so I want you guys to feel the emotion too.
(I swear, no more youtube videos for a minute)

Phenomenal Woman

2009-05-28T01:03:00.000-04:00

I was recovering from a serious hangover the day President Obama nominated Judge Sonia Sotomayor to the U.S. Supreme Court (i'll have to think of a different story to tell my Grandchildren). I saw it on CNN.com, read a few articles, saw lots of excited tweets and facebook status' but I really wasn't too phased by the nomination.
Then today at work this spot came on and I was sucked in. Mr. President, you have really outdone yourself. You have changed how little girls will answer when they are asked what they want to be when they grow up. Man, you've even made me ask myself, what am I doing with my life? Anyways 20somethings, check out this clip!

Unacceptable

2009-05-28T00:21:00.000-04:00

Dear man I met at a bar,
Do not call me during working hours. I find it unacceptable. We have not gone on one date and you are hitting me up at 3pm on a Wednesday? First of all, it says way too much about yourself. You clearly aren't working OR if you are working, you don't pay attention to your job OR if you work some late shift it says that you are inconsiderate of the fact that other people ARE working.
It's one thing if you send me a text, but a phone call? I'm annoyed.
I don't work at footlocker, I can't just pick up my phone and talk to you real quick while I grab a customers shoe size (no disrespect to those who do work at footlocker but you get my point)
Do what normal people do and call after 9pm, hey I'll even take your call after 7pm since I have that unlimited plan. But until you are my man or at least some guy I date on the regular, don't ever call me during work hours again.
-20 Something

Eye Love It

2009-05-27T01:02:00.000-04:00

Earlier I mentioned my fear of wrinkles. And after reading your comments I of course took no one's advice and bought the Burts Beeswax & Royal Jelly Eye Creme.
First of all talk about great marketing, the box says "an eye treatment fit for a queen!"
And second, i practically grew up in a health food store so anything with natural in the title sucks me in.
Now I don't know about the physical impact this stuff has had on my skin BUT i do know that the whole process of putting it on at night and in the morning makes me have daydreams of a 60something me and I LOOK GOOD.
So I'm going to keep it up until this jar runs out. If you are considering buying it, the jar is tiny BUT the product is really thick so you only need half a dab per eye.

Quality or Quantity?

2009-05-27T00:51:00.001-04:00

Don't hate me!
I have a really good excuse for not blogging for so long.* I met this guy!
He is French, really rich and offered me a life of the finer things in Paris. I talked it out with my grandmother (because grandmothers know EVERYTHING) and she told me to go for it. So I went, shopped on Champs-Elysees, sipped wine on the edge of the Seine and oh! the trips to Cannes.
After 3 weeks of bliss, I was bored and I missed all of you so I broke up with my french man and returned to my life chained to my desk :)
And that brings me to tonight's topic.
A friend of mine was getting relationship from an older woman. (What is it about older woman? If they are married they always want to talk about your love life!)
So this older woman who is happily married (whatever that means) told my friend that the one thing she regrets is that she didn't get enough "notches" in her belt.
Notches...that's code for LOT'S of sex with different men.
When my friend told me this story we began to analyze what this older woman really meant?
I interpreted it to mean that she was equating "notches" with "life experience." If you are intimate with different men then that means you are going to learn something from each one of them. And at the end of the day, one might feel more fulfilled because you can say you tried a little bit of everything.
Now before you go calling me a slut...I also feel like it could mean that you don't love yourself and are constantly hopping into bed with different men praying that one of them will give you all the love in the world that you have always craved for.
At the end of the day, I think it's all about the Quality of these notches, not the Quantity.
By that I mean, did you have a fun time? Were you doing it for YOU. And do you have a great story to laugh with your girlfriends about over brunch. I call this view the "Carrie Bradshaw Affect."
Carrie (while she is a weak, sad woman who annoyed me A LOT) viewed sex as just something you do, to experience and then rant or rave about.
Now this is the part where you weigh in...

*the above lie about my failure to blog was influenced by this funny blog. http://thingsiboughtthatilove.com/

Age Defying

2009-04-22T00:21:00.000-04:00

I'm getting old. We all are. Every day, another year older, another day I'm exposed to the gross smog of Southern California. I'm kind of into my looks, I want to be hot in my 40s and beyond, that's why I recently went to Sephora and got samples of two eye creams.
My friend who will remain nameless says I'm crazy but I mean are we too young to start protecting our 20 something faces?
I haven't shelled out the cash for these creams yet but I'm thinking about it.
So is it too soon to start working to turn back the clock?